


We aren't perfect

by orphan_account



Series: TMNT - One shots [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Destruction, Leo - Freeform, M/M, MikeyMichelangelo, Musical, P!nk - Freeform, Perfect, Sad, Self Harm, Song - Freeform, Suicide, fucking perfect, leonardo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:44:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo and Mikey are going through rough times</p>
            </blockquote>





	We aren't perfect

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter contains self harm and/or suicide inside, remember that this two are a last and wrong resource to solve problems, if you experience any desire of committing any of this call to the local emergencies number of your countries. This chapter does not intend to be triggering to anyone or to teach this ways of thinking to anyone, If you are likely to dislike or find this themes disgusting, skip this chapter or exit the book.
> 
> This chapter contains Yaoi (BoyxBoy) If you are likely to dislike or find this themes disgusting, skip this chapter or exit the book
> 
> This chapter contains T-cest (TurtlexTurtle) If you are likely to dislike or find these themes disgusting, skip this chapter or exit the book
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry if I wasn't able to correctly use the text formatting, but I'm pretty new to this site and blonds and italics wouldn't work correctly, if you wanna read the original version with the correct text format feel free to grab this link and read it from the original site: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12020323/1/We-aren-t-perfect

Leo’s POV

We had just got home after another tiring patrol, this one had been even harder than the other ones as Mikey had been hurt by a kraang, Raph as always kept doing what he wanted without following my instructions and I was slowly growing weaker. 

Being the leader of the team was a really difficult thing and sometimes, I just wasn’t enough. I felt devastated as I slowly walked to my room without saying nothing. I just needed to calm down, to relax, and mostly, to leave.

I threw myself onto the bed and took off my mask and gear, I sayed still, looking at the ceiling for some time, just waiting, but after nothing happening for a couple of minutes I got stressed out and decided to “break the ice”

\- YOU! *I shouted at the top of my lungs* Appear!  
\- Leo, Leo… Calm down, no need to shout, you know I’m always here  
\- You know that’s not true, you love to dissapear when I need you  
\- …  
\- You know that what happened during patrol was my fault, wasn’t it?  
\- If that’s what you wanna hear…  
\- But do you think that I could have done something about it?  
\- You are the leader you have to take care of everyone in the team, so you should have been closer to Mikey, then you could have helped him, but in your position it was impossible  
\- So… *I said feeling a tear roll down my cheeks* I should have been closer? That’s all?  
\- You have to train more  
\- I can’t train more *I said getting angry*  
\- You know you can, you’re the leader  
\- AND YOU’RE JUST SOME SHIT INSIDE MY MIND!  
\- Stop shouting! They’ll end up hearing you!  
\- Stop shouting you too! *I said crying from anger* It won’t be my fault if they hear you  
\- Leo, they can’t hear me, I’m inside your mind…  
\- URG! JUST SHUT UP! *I wiped the tears off my face* I don’t even know why have I called for you  
\- Because you know I’m the only one you can talk to when you feel bad

I just stayed silent, I wasn’t talking to it anymore

\- You remember that I’m in your mind and that I know what are you thinking don’t you?

I was not going to say a word

 

Mikey’s POV

\- URG! JUST SHUT UP!  
I could hear Leo talking to someone in his room, I didn’t knew who he was as I was in my room and I couldn’t make out the whole thing, but I knew that he was talking about me, that it was my fault that Leo was so stressed out. He was probably thinking about how stupid I was.

And I was stupid, I WAS STUPID! Nothing of this would have happened if I had never cut. As I unwrapped my wrists I could see that the hit had reopened a couple of cuts and that probably was the reason that made the simple hit hurt that much.

The thing was that I couldn’t stop, that everyday I would cut some more and soon after I would feel bad about it but I wouldn’t stop, why? Because I’m so stupid.

\- WHY AM I SO STUP-! 

I realized too late, I had shouted at the top of my lungs, probably making everyone in the lair hear me. Ten seconds later my room’s door opened and Leo entered my room.

\- M-Mikey?  
\- Leo! *I tried to talk hiding my unwrapped wrist behind me* I… It’s…  
\- Mikey *He said looking very calm* calm down  
\- No but… Just…   
\- Mikey…

Leo sat in front of me and hugged me tightly, I hugged him back with one arm as if something still told me that I could hide the other one, and cried against his neck.

\- Please Leo, please don’t hate me

I knew that having Leo against me would be a sure death, without him I would be alone in the lair, and there would be no reason for me to stay strong anymore.

\- No Mikey

That’s everything Leo said, after that, he broke the hug and let one of his arms rest in from of me. I don’t know what come to me at that moment, but it was like if his arm was begging me to unwrap it, so I did so.

As the thin white cloth stopped covering Leo’s arm several cuts were revealed, making me speechless… again

\- B-but Leo

He hugged me once more, and this time he cried with me.

\- But I don’t understand it Leo *I managed to say* You’ve got it all, sensei, Raph, Donnie… me… Is it my fault? Am i-

 

Leo’s POV

Mikey was starting to get stressed again, and the comfort of the hug was starting to not be enough so I… kissed him. I moved my hands down to his waist and kissed him, doing my best to calm him down in between kisses and tears.

It wasn’t very long until he pushed me slightly, breaking the kiss and looking concernedly at me, I knew he wanted an answer so i just gave it to him.

\- I know I have you, and sensei and everyone, but I also have to be the leader, to take care of all of you, I have the pressure, the biggest punishments… It’s just too much to me.  
\- Don’t say that Leo, you’re not so bad, I’m the failure here, the weak one, the one who never does anything right… I’m the one who should die… 

As Mikey said that he pulled a little razor from behind his belt and when I saw him I only felt like doing one thing. I kissed him once more, but this time I felt his lips follow up the pace I set, and I knew his arms were now wrapped around my neck.

\- Let’s leave… *Mikey said softly against my lips* Let’s leave life  
\- But let’s leave together.

Without breaking the kiss, I lifted Mikey up and took ourselves to the bathroom.

I closed the door, letting Mikey down and grabbed my t-phone, hitting that song that I wanted to hear one last time  
(Song starts)

Made a wrong turn once or twice  
Dug my way out, blood and fire

I took Mikey’s hand and looked into those precious blue eyes of him

Bad decisions, that's alright  
Welcome to my silly life

I closed my eyes as we walked to the bathtub

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
Miss 'No way, it's all good'  
It didn't slow me down.

I was the first one to lay down on the bathtub

Mistaken, always second guessing  
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Mikey laid on top of my, intertwining our legs and landing a sweet kiss on my lips

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than fucking perfect

Mikey broke our kiss to turn the tap on, letting the hot water cover our bodies.

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

We kissed once more as we just felt peace and the waves of the growing amount of water below us.

You're so mean when you talk   
About yourself. You were wrong.

Mikey took his razor and I grabbed mine from a secret hiding behind the bathtub

Change the voices in your head   
Make them like you instead.

We both pointed those sharp metal pieces and slowly pressed them against our skin

So complicated,  
Look how we all make it.

Quickly, some thin strippes of blood started to dye the pure transparent water of a perfect red

Filled with so much hatred  
Such a tired game

I finally left both of my arms inside the water and laid back

It's enough, I've done all I could think of  
Chased down all my demons  
I've seen you do the same

Soon after, Mikey did the same and laid on top of me letting his arms rest on top of mines and his shell besides my plastron

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than fucking perfect

Our lips connected one last time before we were so weak that we couldn’t keep the contact

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

As everything around us turned blurry I could remember the good old times that we spent together, and I was sure that Mikey could too

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear

Long time ago, when we were 4, I remember how Mikey would constantly try to stay in bed without doing nothing and I had to constantly save his ass before we all got punished

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

I could also remember that when we were 6 I got a huge plush for my birthday and that Mikey would always try to take it to play with it, and then he kept saying that he also wanted one just for him

So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard

But then when we were 8 I got obsessed with space heroes, and I would never lend any of my toys to him saying that he would break them

And it's a waste of my time.

10 years old we were that day that Mikey ate pizza until he got so ill that Donnie kept Mikey without eating pizza for a month to get him healthy again  
\---  
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere

But I have also had my bad times, when we were 12, Mikey messed up some mission we had and I just started shouting at him nonsense, I could still remember how scared he was of my anger

They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair

I don’t know how Mikey does love me anymore, I’ve really been a pain in his ass, like that time two years ago when I was so proud of being the leader that Mikey stopped talking to me until I got off of the clouds

Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time

And we end up here, me just wanting Mikey to love me, just needing ourselves to be close, and I guess I want him as much as he wants me, and that’s what has taken us here.

Why do we do that?

I love you Mikey

Why do I do that?

I love you Leo

Why do I do that...

No more breaths were heard in that room

 

 

Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty

The room was cold, no life inside it, two dead turtles, and red water all around them

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than fucking perfect

Two bodies curled up together, enveloping themselves in a last hug as their lungs and heart wouldn’t work anymore. Ever

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

Peace covered the room but they were bound to be discovered sooner or later as the tap, which was still on, would end up betraying their bodies once the bathtub couldn’t handle more water

You're perfect, you're perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel

A first drip, of a reddish color hit the floor of that room that soon would contain so much pain, much more, that it had ever contained when the two turtles were alive

Like you're less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing. You are perfect to me.


End file.
